Lil B takes the SAT
[submitted by ray]
Lil B checked his wrist, his neck, and his pinky just to make sure they were iced out. Whenever he was in a new place and unsure about anything he could always be sure that he was iced out, and indeed he was.
However, that didn’t help the fact that he was still uncertain as to how to fill out his answer sheet. All of the other students in the cramped and musty classroom seemed to be well on their way to finishing their SATs, but Lil B had yet to fill out and bubble in his name. He also had to pee.
He began to write in “Miley Cyrus”. Excited by the thought of being Billy Ray Cyrus’ attractive daughter, he let out an unsuppressed “woop!” The proctor snapped their head at him and glared. He had considered asking the proctor for help, and possibly if he could be escorted to the bathroom, but now that window of opportunity had just been shattered.
Suddenly Miley Cyrus erased his name and replaced it with “Bill Bellamy.” Bill Bellamy just so happened to be the cousin of Shaquille O’Neal. This time he couldn’t help but utter a hushed “swag,” and pretend to cook some imaginary wontons and soup at his 2-in1 desk/chair combination unit.
Before Bill Bellamy could move onto bubbling in letters he found himself flipping his #2 pencil around yet again and erasing his name. “I’m ballin, I think I’m Ron Artest,” Bill Bellamy thought to himself. Bill Bellamy proceeded to occupy the now smudged spaces with the name of Shaquille O’Neal’s fellow Lakers teammate. Seconds later he began to second guess himself. “Maybe I’ m Jerry Rice… scoring all of those touchdowns?” Ron Artest quickly decided against it.
Ron Artest took a second to reflect upon his work so far. Dissatisfied with his pacing, he checked his watch to see what time it was, only to find Ellen on his wrist.
Ron Artest was then hit with the realization that he had been filling in his name incorrectly the whole time. He had briefly skimmed over the counterintuitive instructions on the page informing him to write in his last name first. His bladder still full, but his mind now at ease, Ron Artest started writing in “Clinton…”
